Open letter to my crush:



                        ( painting by Edward Curtis – Aphrodite, c.1910)


I’d rather stay awake than to be with you in a masochistic dimension. Our lips may lock. Our hands may touch. Forbid the cynical self of believing in false hope. Crush me. Stab me with the finest dagger. Make me human, monster. Throw my insecurities at me. I dare you to play me metal rock as you rock me to sleep. Do not be afraid for I am giving you my word.

Just do not play sweet and rosy with my feelings. You are not my knight in shining armor. You attempted to murder Snow White, remember? But do not attempt to kill me, just kill me with honesty. Do not even look up for synonyms for “pretty”,“unique”, and “special”.


For every single synonym printed, I know.

Oh yes, I know.


Hi. You probably know by now that I like you or atleast assumed that I do. I’m okay with it just please don’t play with my feelings. Don’t tell me the nicest things. Don’t. If you feel the same, please do send me “hi” or a random sticker on messenger because talking to you brightens up my day. How about coffee some time? I always wonder if you actually feel the same. I confuse you for either being flirty or just friendly.




You do this. You do that. I overthink. I hope.

I continuously tell myself to take things as they are and just go with the flow. But I can’t help myself from thinking that you might actually like me back.

If you hold my hand, touch my hair, wrap me around your arms, hug me, please do mean it. In my perspective, friends do not normally do that to each other. My close guy friends can’t even do those things to me.

This is all I ask from you. Don’t take advantage over my feelings. I’d rather not to talk to you or always be around your company than to be with you all the time and be cuddly with me.

Falsely hoping,



P.S. If you think this letter is for you. Think again.





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