Compassion and Nothing Else

Being a compassionate person isn’t as easy as you think but it is the most rewarding self-realization that I had for the past few days.

I have realized that there is nothing more fulfilling than having compassion in yourself and to your friends. I used to be that girl who wrapped herself in judgment, discontent, hatred, and negativity. But I had to learn things the hard way. Life offered me tons of challenges that truly changed my views. Forgiveness, kindness, and strength made my life much better. Despite the drama and the bullshit, I will never give up on the people who would need my help. I will make sure that I will make you feel better somehow.

Call me at 2 am, ask me for help with your homework (depends on what subject lol), or cry about your issues with your lover. Just remember, do not be afraid to be raw with me. I’m here, listening to whatever it is that you want to shout to the mountains.

It will always be an honor to help everyone who is struggling with something.

Love and compassion make the best combination.

Seventeen

Another year has passed and another beginning has started. For 16 years, I have been faced by different faces and phases. Phases of innocence, curiosity, teenage drama, self-acceptance, insecurities, and maturity (I am not that mature yet LOL). Faces of kindergarten kids, acne-less grade schoolers, high schoolers, and diverse crazy college students.

I am very grateful for living this life. I am grateful for my OVERLY SUPPORTIVE parents who have always provided my needs. I am grateful for the friends who always stood by my side. I am grateful for the friends I lost along the way. I am grateful for everyone who made me who I am, even the teachers I disliked LOL.

To God, I AM NOTHING WITHOUT YOU. YOU ARE MY STRENGTH. YOU ARE MY PROVIDER. YOU ARE MY FATHER. Thank you for always listening to my drama. Thank you because you never left even though I have left a thousand times. You’re always here. For all the things I am grateful for, You are the reason.

To all the different versions of myself, to the warfreak , Barbie-lover, directioner, Britney Spears fan, iCarly crazy???? Thank you for being strong and for being who you are. Thank you for surviving. Thank you for all the decisions because you have made the right ones. Without all of you, there is no Borj. Thank you for coming up with my principles. I owe you everything.

This version of myself will only get better. For my future self, I will make you proud. Cheers to life!

xoxo,

Borj

10 Lessons I Learned in 2015

I didn’t set high expectations for this year but it turned out to be the greatest year of my life. This is the year when I graduated in high school, passed our research thesis, watched One Direction’s concert,  got into Ateneo, performed in a musical play, and met a lot of amazing people.

These are some of the lessons that I learned this year.

1. It is okay to let go of some friendships.

Some people are meant to stay in our lives. Some don’t. I learned that once the friendship starts falling apart and no matter how much effort you put into that friendship (the other doesn’t put as much effort as you do)…

Re-evaluate.

It is okay to let go as long as you know in yourself that you have reasons to. You’ll meet more people in life anyway.

2. There is always a rainbow after the rain.

Before I graduated, we had a major task in high school:  RESEARCH PAPER. I had sleepless nights and petty fights with my research mates but we worked our asses paid off!

IMG_9383

During the first semester of college, I auditioned for a musical theatre organization.  Fortunately, I got accepted!!! I felt like I was on top of the world when I got into the newbie production. For 2 months, I had 3-4 hours of rehearsals everyday. I had bruises and scars during the rehearsals. I became exhausted. But in the end, I earned my friends for life and our play was a success!!!

3. Time-management is everything!!!

Academics + Theatre + Social Life + Social media + Sleep + Eat + others???

Most of my friends and relatives told me that I was crazy and that I should quit theatre because of the time it consumed.

“How about your studies?”

With time-management, one can conquer everything. I had good grades this semester, even my cast mates too! Just because one gives a portion of his time to something, then he has to give up others, NO.

4. Became more open-minded with feminism and the LGBTQ+ community  YAAASSS

Dress code + Street-Harassment + Homophobia + Transphobia + Misogyny + Racism = ????

WHO WANTS THESE THINGS??? #LoveWins

5. Don’t judge a person by his actions. Everyone has a heart.

Everyone has a story. Everyone is undergoing through something. Everyone has problems. Everyone has reasons. We just have to #RESPECT and be a little bit more #UNDERSTANDING.

6. It is okay to make mistakes. 

Yes, it is definitely okay to make mistakes. Creating mistakes is a part of growing up. We shouldn’t always give ourselves the blame once we failed at something. Mistakes exist to help us improve. Get up and get rolling.

7. If you put your heart and soul to something. You are unstoppable.

I never really knew what passion was, until I got into theatre. Theatre has taught me that if you love what you do, you won’t ever get tired because you are committed to it. Instead, you’ll keep on breaking walls with your own fists. It may be frustrating at times but breaking one wall at a time gives you a sense of accomplishment and joy. You love the sweat. You love the tears. You love the bruises. You love the frustration. With passion, comes breaking walls. Keep on breaking walls with your fists. Keep on improving. If there is passion there is the will to improve.

8. Acknowledge your feelings.

There is nothing wrong with feeling frustrated, angry, or sad. We often deny these feelings because we tend to believe that they are bad. That these emotions are negative ones. As humans, it is natural for us to feel and we shouldn’t deny it.

9. Just because you’re bad at something. It doesn’t mean that you have to give up. 

Hi! I’m the typical person who rants about his/her math skills. LOL. All my life, I sucked at math. In high school, I usually had a grade of 2.0 or 2.25 or 2.5 ( just like the UP grading system). I’m not ashamed of it because I KNOW THAT I REALLY SUCK HUHUHU.

All of us suck at something right? But it doesn’t mean that we have to cry our eyes out and wish that we have to die because of it. Instead of being harsh to ourselves and settling for the less, always strive to improve. I realized that “Okay, I’m not good at it but it won’t stop me from trying harder.”

10. God gives us purpose and His plan is perfect.

Jeremiah 29:11 ” For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosperyou and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I have to say that I did not pass UPCAT. At first, it was hard for me to accept it. I remember the night when the results were released and almost everyone of my batch mates were cheering in the dorm. I felt so bad. I blamed myself so hard and my insecurities became worse. But God made me study in Ateneo. I met my block mates, church mates, org mates, and other people who were always there for me. Ateneo felt like home and I am very grateful for it. During those days when I felt embarrassed about not passing in the University of the Philippines, I wish I could tell myself that everything is going to be okay.

Some of you might be dealing with something but I want you to know that God is in charge. So don’t ever worry.

I know that the future is kinda blurry but God had already made his plan for me and I believe that it is perfect.

 

La Union’s El Union: An Artisan Coffee Shop

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

San Juan, La Union is known to be the surfing capital of the North. Before, there were only few resorts in town. But due to its increasing popularity, more and more food stalls opened.

In 2014, El Union Coffee humbly opened as a small coffee shop along the highway of San Juan but now they moved to a larger space. The baristas are very accommodating. I like the artsy interior design and the groovy music they play. I really don’t know why but every time I go here, it makes me feel so hipster LOL.

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

What I love the most, is their fresh roasted coffee. The coffee tastes really good. There is something real about it. The coffee is made out of brewed local coffee beans. I always order their Iced Mocha but today I tried the Dirty White.

Processed with VSCOcam with m4 preset

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

(Kiddo Cosio, the owner of El Union Coffee.)

Aside from the coffee, they also serve skillet cookies, smores, buttermilk pancakes with bacon jam ( I haven’t tried this one yet), and grilled cheese sandwiches.

As my favorite coffee quote goes, “Life is too short for crappy coffee.” So if you are planning to go North, try El Union Coffee. Meet new people, enjoy the music, refresh your minds, breathe fresh air, and feel the rustic countryside.

 

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetProcessed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

 

Go check out their instagram @elunion and website elunion.com

My December Favorites

Processed with VSCOcam with s2 presetProcessed with VSCOcam with s2 preset

 

You could never go wrong with a little lipstick. There’s always a hint of excitement whenever I try different lipsticks just to find that “perfect” shade.

This month, I went to UP Town Center to scout for a red lipstick that I’d give my mom for Christmas. Well, I couldn’t resist to try some for myself. Until I stopped by at Kate, I tried on their Smooth Color Rouge in the shade BE-2. It is really moisturizing to the lips and it only costs Php 480.

A week after, my aunt suggested that we should find dupes for the Kylie Lipkit collection at SM North Edsa. ( I really want to have one of the lipsticks from Kylie’s collection but I don’t think they have it here in the Philippines yet.)

So we tested different matte lip creams from NYX. My aunt and I purchased the Stockholm shade for Php 390. Not bad for a dupe compared to Kylie’s that approximately costs $30 each.

To reduce the dryness of the NYX lip cream, I put the rouge as the base and then coat it with the matte lip cream. The rouge gives the matte a darker finish. I love how it makes my lips plumper. I would definitely wear this everyday to school next semester.

 

Processed with VSCOcam with s2 preset

If you have any lipstick suggestions, please comment below. Thank you!

Open letter to my crush:

 

tumblr_nuxlc9eKJ91r3fkjno1_500

                        ( painting by Edward Curtis – Aphrodite, c.1910)

Prologue:

I’d rather stay awake than to be with you in a masochistic dimension. Our lips may lock. Our hands may touch. Forbid the cynical self of believing in false hope. Crush me. Stab me with the finest dagger. Make me human, monster. Throw my insecurities at me. I dare you to play me metal rock as you rock me to sleep. Do not be afraid for I am giving you my word.

Just do not play sweet and rosy with my feelings. You are not my knight in shining armor. You attempted to murder Snow White, remember? But do not attempt to kill me, just kill me with honesty. Do not even look up for synonyms for “pretty”,“unique”, and “special”.

Gross. 

For every single synonym printed, I know.

Oh yes, I know.

————————————————————-

Hi. You probably know by now that I like you or atleast assumed that I do. I’m okay with it just please don’t play with my feelings. Don’t tell me the nicest things. Don’t. If you feel the same, please do send me “hi” or a random sticker on messenger because talking to you brightens up my day. How about coffee some time? I always wonder if you actually feel the same. I confuse you for either being flirty or just friendly.

 

MAAYOS NA TO

 

You do this. You do that. I overthink. I hope.

I continuously tell myself to take things as they are and just go with the flow. But I can’t help myself from thinking that you might actually like me back.

If you hold my hand, touch my hair, wrap me around your arms, hug me, please do mean it. In my perspective, friends do not normally do that to each other. My close guy friends can’t even do those things to me.

This is all I ask from you. Don’t take advantage over my feelings. I’d rather not to talk to you or always be around your company than to be with you all the time and be cuddly with me.

Falsely hoping,

Me

 

P.S. If you think this letter is for you. Think again.

 

 

 

Love thyself

YEHEYWe are souls trapped inside bodies that we either love or hate. As we grow up, we start to question the way we are.

Why do I look like this? 

I’m so ugly.

What is wrong with me?

Why can’t I be perfect?

Through the years, I convinced myself that I am beautiful. Physically and spiritually, I am. I tried so hard to cover up my flaws and told myself that I am still beautiful. There were days when I felt like shit. Even though I have accepted myself, there’s still a little voice in the back of my mind saying that I could be a little smarter, prettier, taller, or nicer. I hush it down but it always comes back.

Acceptance. 

It is truly a challenge to accept ourselves. As cliché as it may sound, we are all unique in our own ways. All of us have different talents, different gifts, that none of the others could ever have. Even if they could have them too, your art is your art. Your art is beautiful on its own.

Sometimes I wish that we all could just love ourselves a little bit more. That beyond our flaws, we could still find the rainbows inside of us. The glow that gradually faded as we grew up, I hope that we would be able to find it again.

A different skyline

Processed with VSCOcam with s3 preset

 

Today, I saw a pretty sunset with splashing colors like it was my first time. It has been months since I last saw a sunset just like this. It reminded my of days in high school.

My high school years were spent in Ilocos Sur. Our campus was very much in touch with nature. I have seen beautiful sunsets and shooting stars in our skyline. With every shooting star, I wished.  Everything was like a painting. I was used to be in a live gallery.

College came.

The skyline is surrounded by commercial buildings. In the night, I rarely see the Orion’s belt or the Ursa Major. The city lights blinded me from the starlight.

Entry #1 :Borj

Hi I’m Vianne Danielle Borja, currently taking BS Management Information Systems in Ateneo de Manila University. I’m 16 years old and I don’t want to grow up ever ( i want to have my own job but still… the adult life is a lot stressful ) but I want to physically grow up in terms of length.

borj.jpg

I love coffee, movies, Ariana Grande, indie music, dogs, pretty photos, music, impressionism art, makeup, food adventures, and the thought of love (wow). USING CAPS LOCK AND HAHAHAHAHAHA IS MY THING. I tend to be loud when you chat with me. In person, the way I interact with people depends on my mood. I am an ambivert but it’s leaning more onto extroversion.

One thing for sure, I hate math and feelings. Just kidding about feelings. I am an emotional person who tries to escape the habit of overthinking. So I’m learning the art of not caring, at the moment.

I have another blog which is all about music, art, and poetry but I decided to make this one to serve as an online journal. Writing to me is my stress-reliever. Poetry is my favorite one to write. In my other blog, I have a compilation of the ones I wrote. I hope that someday, I’d publish my own book ( that would be really AMAZING).

As much as possible, I won’t abandon this blog.

xoxo,

Vianne